As most of you know, I am residing in Miami for the next 7/8 months, as I am studying abroad for my third year of university. I am having the time of my life, and to be honest, I still find all of it pretty surreal! This truly is a blessing from God. It just feels great to be out on my own and fending for myself thousands of miles away from home. Of course, I miss my family and close friends, but in terms of my character development and quest for discovery - this time I am spending on my lonesome is truly awe-inspiring. About 9 weeks in, and I already feel like a changed person. I’ve always been independent and quite mature for my age (having an older sister helped that), but being so far away from home has made this more apparent.
Now the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. In fact, there are no negatives, per se. The “negatives” are simply emotions that hit me over the head and leave me in a state of “poortingness” every now and then. If you listened to the audio post I just published, you will have an idea of what I’m going on about.
It’s so hard being attached to someone you care deeply about and you know they feel the same because it’s been said, but the distance between you just makes everything that much harder. There’s no way to describe or define what you got going on. I mean, both of you know yourselves what’s going on, but in these situations - is that even enough? People always say “if you guys are strong then distance won’t matter”, and I believe that, but it doesn’t change the fact that this shit will have you going C R A Z Y. Seriously. Certain pictures you see that are most probably innocent will have you thinking, “WHAT THE FUCK?”
As a female I wanna be able to control everything and keep everything in order, and I’m now realising that will never work. How much can you control from across the Atlantic? There’s no strings involved, simply an understanding - and that’s really not enough to keep someone from doing what they want to do. Therefore, I must do the same. I just wish it didn’t take me this long to understand that. I’m not saying I’m going to go wild and act like a hussy because that is most definitely not me; but a little harmless flirting never went amiss. I know there’s nothing for me to worry about, because what I got is something that not many people have - an amazing friendship above all with a person that means a heck of a lot to me. I just have to be grateful that I have something special, which will always be there - at least for as long as we permit it to be.
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