Written on February 1st, 2009: "The Five Essentials to Culinary Satisfaction"

So today I went shopping with the mumzie. Nothing exciting, you know, just the good old tesco. And as we were shopping I found myself asking for the same five things over and over again...even when they had already been put in the trolley. And then I clocked, these are the items that I really CANNOT live without. Here they are in no paticular order (since they all mean so much to me)...

SALAD CREAM

Lard ah mercy. Wun kinda sweetness boy. I do not care if the purpose is only for salads. I will eat it with my rice and peas, my oxtail and my ackee and saltfish. It is a table top delight my friends. As the old saying goes "If you dont know, get to know". And I mean it. You will not be disappointed. Heinz went hard when it came to inventing salad cream. And that another thing, if you're gonna purchase it, purchase HEINZ. They're trusty, they're sweet and they're reliable.

GRANOLA BARS

If you know me, you know that I love to sleep until the last minute. I never have time to eat breakfast...bad I know. But I always remember the night before to pack into my schoolbag a "Nature Valley Granola Bar". Comng in a range of different flavours (Oats 'n' Honey, Apple Crunch...to name a few), you cant go wrong. They are slick and straight to the point. Breakfast is no longer an ordeal like it used to be. Coz all I need is my granola bar. 08.08 train to elephant and castle, metro paper and granola bar. I dont think you understand the amazing-ness of it all. Sheesh.

ENCONA SWEET CHILLI SAUCE

This is the shit. Thats all I can say. Salad cream and this amazing creation will spice up your life in no time cha-rust me. Sunday dinner, its there. Saturday lunch its there, hell, if i had time to make myself proper breakfast in the morning it would make the team too. Encona. There is none like you.

BANANAS

This is the fruit of my life. Do you know how much energy is contained in that yellow wonder. Before I leave the house for college I jsut down one of these and im good to go. Trust. It just gives you that energy burst you might need if you have to do something like...run for the train. I usually eat it while im walking down my road and when I'm done...I dash the skin in a bush. And thats another thing thats so amazing about it. The skin decomposes bruv. Im someone who dont like to litter or make a mess, but with a banana skin I dont even have to feel guilty. Coz when it gets dashed in the bush, it feeds the soil. Look at that. Tasty, healthy and good for the environment. Amazing.

DIGESTIVES

These biscuits boy. Mcvities, whoever you are, you're a don. I can tbelieve I turned my nose up at these gems for so many years. I used to be a Rich Tea fan, but after an unfortunate (or fortunate) event...I converted to digestives and my am i glad. Im eating one now actually. Those of you who know me know that the one thing I love is a cup of tea. But at times, just a cup of tea by itself can become a bit tedious. Ever find that? Well Digestives is your answer. But you cant just sip the tea then bite the biscuit. Tings nuh go suh. You gotta dunk it in bruv. Dip the Digestive in, let it get a bit soft and then eat it. Then do it again for the next two biscuits. AMAZING. Thats all i can say.

I hope after that you lot can understand the deal. If you ever invite me round for dinner, breakfast or snacks...just make sure you;ve done the necessary shopping.

What are you lots "five essentials to culinary satisfaction"?

Written December 30th, 2008: "The day my life flashed before my eyes..."

...was on december 26th 2008. Boxing day. After a chaotic, jokes-filled and belly-satisfying Christmas Day, one looks forward to that following day where you can kip until 2pm and just laze about in your Betty Boops and not have a care in the world. But this year, my beloved sister and I thought to do something different. We decided to wake up, put on our warm clothes and wind-breakers and brave the first day - of the January Sales.

And my, do I regret it.

After a hell of a journey, we arrived at the barriers of oxford circus underground station, bussed a right and came to the stairs leading us up to the famous street. Greeted by a dreadlocked rasta promoting his dub nonsense we joined the sea of people fighting their way into shops. Struggling for myself to be heard I shouted to Lehana "Let's cross over to niketown side! It looks less crowded!". We crossed over and of course, made our first stop, TopShop.

One look at it and we lookd at each other, disappointed and taken aback. Lehana said "Lydia, I'm not going in there. I'm already having dizzy spells and just looking at that crowd is making me weak." I replied, "ok beeb, lets try H&M". So we walked back past niketown, crossed over and went to H&M. H&M wasn't so bad as we stayed there for about 15 minutes..didnt buy anything though. All the shxtty things were on sale. Alike Urban Outfitters.

Next stop was River Island. We made our way there and stopped in front of the shop. Lehana was already hesitant but I said "Lehana, I'm going in." Lehana replied "No Lydia, I'm coming in with you!". So we went in together. We reached the first rack, as I flicked through, the multi-coloured disasters started to daze me, I started to feel sick. "Lehana, I cant do this I need air, lets go". So we left.

After deciding that we'd had enough of Oxford Street, we decided to make our way to carnaby street. What should have taken about 8 minutes took bloody 25. We had the old grannies and grandads not shopping, but SIGHT-SEEING. The mumzies with prams...AND THEIR TODDLERS WALKING ALONGSIDE THEM. The tourists with suitcases, taking up 3 foot more of the street than is needed. You have the lovers, afraid of what might happen if they let go of each others hands for a second.

"Lehana, I'm about to break some faces." I said.

"Lydz calm down, we'll be the - "

Before Lehana could finish her sentence I was phantom. I started ducking, diving and dodging. Fitting my 5'3 frame through every possible crevice and space I could find. I was ruling that bad boy. A couple of times I had people trying to barge my arm out of its socket but never fear...I managed, and I won.

I arrived at Carnaby street..Lehana catching up with me a couple minutes later. Carnaby wasnt so bad. We went to Office, didnt get anything though. Went to American Apparel, saw nothing on sale. I saw some jeans though. But I mean..£60? Am I a prxck?

So I think it's safe to say that we left West empty-handed. Never again. I will hit the sales dont get me wrong..but I will hit them online. I love my life too much to put it in jeopardy.

Happy New Year people! Shop safely!!

For Old Time's Sake!

I happened to be signed into Facebook quite late last night, and found myself reading some of the old notes I had written. They were quite funny, I must admit. I'm gonna post them all on here for everyone to read. Tell me what you think of them!

ARGH I'M SO ANGRY!

So you're all probably aware that England's World Cup journey has come to an end...once again. I just thought I'd come on here and vent because I am so angry! To be fair, I knew England wouldn't go on to win the World Cup, but I thought they'd do enough to get to the final 8 AT LEAST. They couldn't even do that. It was a POOR performance. Very poor. They were all over the place. They looked like a bunch of primary school kids playing kick about in flippin' Clapham Common. Not sexy, at all. It was actually painful to watch. They kept making silly mistakes, giving the ball away etc. These past couple of weeks I have not seen the England that I know is there. I didn't recognise these boys. The Germany match got me mad though. England did get robbed. Lampy got ROBBED. That was so blatantly a goal - but at the end of the day, it was disallowed (for what reason we don't know). What England need to do was say to themselves "Right, didn't work out in this half, second half we have to get on that pitch and PERFORM!". Nothing. They came on...and nothing. Total and utter shambles. They gave the game away. They should have given that game their all right up until the last second...but they choked. As soon as Germany were two goals ahead of them, they gave up. And this is what they always do. Give up before even trying. And this is why England get me mad. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Theo Walcott should have been there. Yes, he's young but what's that got to do with anything. You got grown men on that England team getting on the pitch and choking. Under-performing. Experience obviously means nothing here. Theo should have been there. Capello fi dead. And England...well. I have nothing more to say on the matter.

I guess we'll have to wait till 2014.

Hello!

So I'm back on blogger! Around this time last year, I created a blog using blogger, but it didn't go quite as well as I would have liked it to. So after my failing of keeping the blog going, I moved to Tumblr. That went a bit better, however, I noticed that people really do just use Tumblr to post fashionable pictures of designer clothes, shoes etc. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that - but that's not the type of blogger I want to be. I'm a writer. I am very opinionated and so that needs to be expressed through writing - not the posting or reblogging of pictures. I believe that if you're someone who enjoys writing and expresses themselves through writing, then blogger is the best way forward. Having said all this, I do still have my Tumblr and you can visit it at http://itslydz.tumblr.com, there you'll find random stuff to look at and enjoy! Anyway, this first entry really is just a way to christen my new blog. Expect a lot of funny, random AND serious material on here! Hope you enjoy reading it!

Real Talk xo