Friday, 17 February 2012
Written Nov 2, 2011
It occurred to me a couple days ago that the only time I am not listening to music is when I am sleeping. And that’s real.
As soon as I wake up, I open up my laptop (there’s no need to turn it on, it’s never off. It’s only sleeping, and iTunes is always open) and start playing some sort of tune. I get in the shower, I bang out tunes on my BlackBerry. I’m on the cross-trainer in the gym, I’m running to something hype. I walk to my classes with my Beats on (you gotta have the Beats, I can’t believe I was without them for so long). I don’t watch TV, I listen to music and all types of music at that. You’ll find all sorts on there, including movie soundtracks. And it’s not because I’m sad (well, maybe a little bit), but it’s because the way Hans Zimmer builds the suspense of an epic movie moment through his integration of electronic music sounds with traditional orchestral arrangements simply takes my breath away.
#NP Time - Hans Zimmer
This beaut is the soundtrack to Inception. Yep, yep, you’re absolutely right. That epic moment at the end of the film where we are confused to whether Leonardo DiCaprio actually made it out of his dream? That moment would be shit all without my man Zimmer and his bloodfire skills.
Music is Key.
You know, everyone’s life has a soundtrack, and right now I’m carefully selecting the songs that will make the soundtrack to my life as it currently stands.
1. Just Wait - Incisive ft. Shakka
Yo, this tune is totally illustrating exactly how I’m feeling right now. Obviously, I’m seeing this from a different perspective as I’m not an artist (although recently I’ve been thinking about taking singing more seriously. #ParableOfTalents and all that), but it’s really making me understand that good things come to those who wait. Also, I feel that at the age of 20/21, I should know exactly what I wanna do with my life, right? Wrong. I’m taking this time to find out what my passions are, and what it is I love to do - and I’m slowly, but surely getting there. I refuse to wind up in a dead end job where I work 9 to 5 to simply pay the bills. Fuck that shit. So I gotta keep on, be strong and just wait. I know eventually the path I will take in life will be brightly lit for me. It’s okay to be lost sometimes, because you always find your way in the end.
2. You - Goapele ft. Dwele
I mean, if you don’t know about this tune, you need to get to know asapish. In fact, I’m gonna post it after I post this. In one point of the song, Goapele and Dwele both sing together, “One look at you, you see right through me/You know my moods, know what I’m thinking/Feel what I’m feeling ‘cause your my best friend true”. It’s only today I realised how on point these lyrics are. Flip. It is mirroring my emotions as they currently stand. Omg. So over it right now. “Unplug the phone, no more disturbing our time alone…temptation’s strong, it’s what we go through” - SHIT SON. There’s definitely gonna be some unplugging of phones soonish. I can tell you that for free. Temptation is and has been…stronger than ever. #Soz.
3. Off The Wall - Michael Jackson
S wear, this is my anthem for whenever I’ve had a long, hard and stressful day. I listen to it daily without fail. I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite MJ tune. In fact, it’s not. But in terms of really getting me into good spirits and putting a smile on my face, this tune does the trick for me. So obviously, I had to put it on the soundtrack to my life.
Sidenote: Just for the record, my favourite MJ tracks are Liberian Girl, Baby Be Mine, Speed Demon, Rock With You and Stranger In Moscow. #certified.
So that’s all I’ve got for now. Selecting the songs for my life soundtrack is no joke. You may find it silly, but it’s definitely contributing to my quest for self-discovery. Everyday, when I listen to a song I may have listened to the day before, I discover something totally different every time. That’s what I find so fascinating about music. Whether it be a certain riff I didn’t realise Brandy smashed in a 90s banger, or a certain note in the violin arrangement of John Williams’s “Return to Neverland” (from the epic 90s movie, Hook). There is always something new to discover and to appreciate. It’s crazy.
A question occurred to me today. What does music mean to you? No two people share the same view on music, or the same relationship.
Music to me, is the best friend that has no face. You decide and are in total control of how you want your best friend to be, and what you want them to look like. They are there for you 24/7, 365. When you are happy, they are happy with you. When you are angry, they too, are angry. When you cry, they dry your tears. When you feel alone, they break the silence.
I wouldn’t go as far as saying music is my life and I cannot live without it (if the day came where I had no choice, I would have to. When you lose a friend, you mourn and grieve, yes, but eventually you mend and get over it.), but it definitely makes up a large segment of myself. It makes me whole.
Written Dec 7, 2011
2011 has been a friggin GOOD YEAR. I relocated to Miami for a year. I’ve proved myself as an independent, young woman by living on the other side of the world. By myself. Fending for myself. It is such a great feeling.
It’s been a rollercoaster ride no doubt in terms of like/love. I was finally able to get in touch with my feelings and emotions and express them fully after how many years of silent suffering. I will never do that to myself again. Sometimes I think if I had been honest earlier in my journey, maybe I would have got what I wanted a long time ago. Maybe this is the case, but you can’t rewrite history. Once it’s happened, it’s done. Plus, I’m pretty sure if the past had been different, it would have affected certain decisions I’ve made - like coming to the States to study for a year, for example. I definitely have no regrets coz I know everything that’s happened this year is 100% real. I’m so excited to see what the future holds man.
I’ve grown closer to my family (if that’s even possible, after how close we already are). The fact that distance does not affect any of us. We are still and always will be on the same page. It’s something like a telepathic connection. It’s mad when you WhatsApp your dad at the same time he WhatsApps you. My sister is and always will be my best friend. We still speak everyday and she knows what’s going in my life as it is happening. That’s my rock. I can’t wait to see my Mummy. Her sweet emails have helped me through the few rough times I’ve had while being away. I love you all, and thank you for supporting me and my dream of coming to the University of Miami. I couldn’t thank you enough.
My London people have supported me all the way. I ain’t gonna name drop but you know who you are. I knew this experience would highlight who my real friends were and they already have. Thanks for still being here for me even from across the waters. BIG LOVE. In fact you aint my friends, you’re my family. The kind of family that come to my house unannounced and use my gas and electricity to make your own breakfast…casj ting. #REAL. LOL.
2011 has definitely been one of the best years of my young life, if not, THE BEST. Hopefully 2012 is just as great, if not greater! My goal is for every year to be that much better than the last. However minor the difference. It’s only on and upwards from here. Forward movement ONLY.
PEACE
x
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Loving Life!
I Love Life!
It's just too good right now. I feel relaxed everyday. That’s just what Miami does to you man. I really feel so laid back and at peace with myself and my surroundings. It’s a beautiful place, down to the air you breathe. When you inhale, it’s actually amazing. The air is so clean. My skin is on point. The sun and water are doing wonders for my hair. I just love it.
Being away from home and living out on my own over here has left me wanting so much more. I can’t get enough of life abroad. I’ve always enjoyed traveling, and my parents made it a priority to try and go on holiday every summer so my sister and I could see the world from a young age, so I’ve been to quite a few places. However, there’s something about experiencing something on your own. It’s not just the freedom to do as you please, but it’s the satisfaction you get when you’re faced with a problem, and as you’re alone; are forced to solve it on your own. It’s amazing. Now I’ve done this, I can’t get enough, trust me.
Miami is beautiful, however, being here as I said in an earlier entry has made me realise how much I LOVE New York. The bright lights, the fast paced, 24/7 lifestyle. I never thought that was me before, but being here has made me realise it really is. I miss it so much and would really like to live over there for a while. So after I graduate, that’s what I’m gonna do. Live in New York for a year. You can’t stop me now baby. You can’t stop me now.
I have arrived.
x
My Poetry Workshop Course.
So there’s been set texts that we’ve studied over the semester right? And every week we have an assignment set to write a piece in the style of the person we’ve studied.
I fucking hate it.
I feel like I’m being suffocated.
It’s like someone is holding my head under water and my life is slowly slipping away from me.
I want fucking artistic freedom.
But I guess all of this is going to help me become a better writer.
Still, I’m glad my Professor has decided to scrap the last few books as there’s not much time left this semester.
Coz that shit is annoying as hell.
Rant done.
An update! (Written Nov 13 1011)
So it's 32 days til’ I’m back in London for the Christmas Break. I’m so excited! Definitely got a new found love for London. You never really appreciate home until you’re away from it for a while. No doubt after a couple weeks I’ll be wanting to come back to Miami though!
I didn’t think I’d miss London so much to be honest. But being away has made me realise how much certain people actually mean to me. It’s crazy. Those people, I need to see. You guys know who you are.
I’m definitely a city girl! I love the Bright Lights, the noise, the theatres, the roaming streets at 2am in the morning. Ahhhh, life. Miami is great. It is a city, but it’s a different kind of city. You can’t beat the diversity of London, or New York (gonna be in NY March/April. Can’t wait! I’ve missed it! x). Miami is definitely a first priority holiday destination. But to set up base? Not sure. I’m so glad I’m getting the college experience here though. For a city that isn’t the most diverse of places I’m making up for being at college here. I’ve met people of all races, religions and backgrounds…and I’ve still so many more to meet. I’m truly grateful for this opportunity. I’ve already learned a heck of a lot, and there’s still so much to experience and see.
Contrary to popular belief, Miami is not ALL fun and games. I still have to put in work and get a degree. So Lord knows how exhausted I am tryna juggle a social life and education. But the semester is almost over now! That well deserved break I’m taking back home in London, with all my loved ones is just around the corner.
So I’m about to enjoy London for 3/4 weeks then return to Miami to continue the MIA adventures. Can’t wait to see what the Spring semester has to offer!
This is truly a blessing.
Anyway, finna brew a cuppa and enjoy it with some cookies in bed; while watching the latest episode of Waterloo Road. You can take the girl outta London, but you can’t take the London out of the girl. ;)
Peace! x