Okay, so this blog entry is slightly on the sentimental side of things. This past week I've really been quite pensive, and I've had quite a lot on my mind and I've been really busy. The first thing I won't discuss until I'm safely through the finish line. The second, being that my cousin is getting married on Saturday - so I've been getting my outfit, hair and whatnot sorted. However, the thing that's (unfortunately) been playing on my mind the most is the issue of...boys. My current situation with boys anyway, not them in general. I swore to myself that I would never let a boy consume my thoughts and get me down. I've kept to that for about 3 years now, but recently I haven't been as successful.
This blog entry is solely for the ladies, I'm quite aware that no guy will have any interest in what I am talking about. But hopefully some of the girlies will be able to relate.
Now, I don't know if it's just me (I hope it's not just me!). But whenever I seem to have a good thing going with a guy - that I like - I start looking for potholes in the relationship and start with the "what ifs". Need me to draw you a picture? Okay.
The Picture:
You like Boy 1. He likes you too. Something happens. You never discuss what happened. You suspect Boy 1 just doesn't know what he wants, because he's a boy. So life moves on and you meet Boy 2. You like Boy 2. Boy 2 likes you. Boy 2 is too good to be true. There's a few complications with Boy 2 but you believe you like him so much these complications can be resolved. Boy 2, being a boy, isn't as convinced. But eventually Boy 2 sees sense. However, it's too late, because you've already started comparing Boy 2 to Boy 1, even though you know Boy 2 is probably better for you than Boy 1. But for some reason Boy 1 is who you want now. Or at least you think you want Boy 1. But you also want Boy 2.
Why is this? Why all of a sudden are you interested in Boy 1? You know what, in my case - the extent to which I liked Boy 1 was somewhat emotional. Not to mention how long I had liked him. Wow. Could it be that we are lying to ourselves and never really stopped liking Boy 1? Could it be that I simply put him to the back of my mind? That sounds like it could make sense.
Point of Digression
So like, this blog entry is so, very BAIT. Good thing these guys don't read my blog. Hell, they don't even read. I might change a few things to increase the anonymity of the situation. You won't know what I've changed, because I would've changed whatever needs changing in this blog before you even get to this point. Come to think of it, there's no reason for this digression :/. The entry's still kinda bait though. Anyway.
End of Digression
The main problem is what to do when these feeling do surface. Do we act on them? I'm quite tempted to do so, I'm not gonna lie. However, thanks to close friends and my lovely sister, they told me quickly NOT to act on it. If I do, I will risk losing the good thing that I already kinda have and quite possibly could have, simply because I am curious about something that COULD HAVE happened. Like they say, everything happens for a reason - I just wish I knew what the reason was. And here come the what ifs. You see what I mean? It's self-sabotage. It's almost like I don't want myself to be happy. The Boy 1 situation caused me quite a bit of heartache, if I'm totally honest. Do I really want that for myself again? The answer should be no. But even while I write this blog I'm thinking "What if he feels the same way and we should be together?". It's a vicious cycle.
Get yourself out of it.
That's what I'm gonna try and do. Stick with Boy 2 - better yet stick with yourself, until you're ready to combat all the emotions that the male specimen seem to always set aflame.
This blog entry is solely for the ladies, I'm quite aware that no guy will have any interest in what I am talking about. But hopefully some of the girlies will be able to relate.
Now, I don't know if it's just me (I hope it's not just me!). But whenever I seem to have a good thing going with a guy - that I like - I start looking for potholes in the relationship and start with the "what ifs". Need me to draw you a picture? Okay.
The Picture:
You like Boy 1. He likes you too. Something happens. You never discuss what happened. You suspect Boy 1 just doesn't know what he wants, because he's a boy. So life moves on and you meet Boy 2. You like Boy 2. Boy 2 likes you. Boy 2 is too good to be true. There's a few complications with Boy 2 but you believe you like him so much these complications can be resolved. Boy 2, being a boy, isn't as convinced. But eventually Boy 2 sees sense. However, it's too late, because you've already started comparing Boy 2 to Boy 1, even though you know Boy 2 is probably better for you than Boy 1. But for some reason Boy 1 is who you want now. Or at least you think you want Boy 1. But you also want Boy 2.
Why is this? Why all of a sudden are you interested in Boy 1? You know what, in my case - the extent to which I liked Boy 1 was somewhat emotional. Not to mention how long I had liked him. Wow. Could it be that we are lying to ourselves and never really stopped liking Boy 1? Could it be that I simply put him to the back of my mind? That sounds like it could make sense.
Point of Digression
So like, this blog entry is so, very BAIT. Good thing these guys don't read my blog. Hell, they don't even read. I might change a few things to increase the anonymity of the situation. You won't know what I've changed, because I would've changed whatever needs changing in this blog before you even get to this point. Come to think of it, there's no reason for this digression :/. The entry's still kinda bait though. Anyway.
End of Digression
The main problem is what to do when these feeling do surface. Do we act on them? I'm quite tempted to do so, I'm not gonna lie. However, thanks to close friends and my lovely sister, they told me quickly NOT to act on it. If I do, I will risk losing the good thing that I already kinda have and quite possibly could have, simply because I am curious about something that COULD HAVE happened. Like they say, everything happens for a reason - I just wish I knew what the reason was. And here come the what ifs. You see what I mean? It's self-sabotage. It's almost like I don't want myself to be happy. The Boy 1 situation caused me quite a bit of heartache, if I'm totally honest. Do I really want that for myself again? The answer should be no. But even while I write this blog I'm thinking "What if he feels the same way and we should be together?". It's a vicious cycle.
Get yourself out of it.
That's what I'm gonna try and do. Stick with Boy 2 - better yet stick with yourself, until you're ready to combat all the emotions that the male specimen seem to always set aflame.
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